First we Listen

Time to Listen.

This is my third superficial [and brief] reflection on where we are currently at [educationally speaking]. I promise it is the last one for the term.

Like so many of us I  have recently watched the ‘Adolescence’ series and like so many of us I found it riveting, disturbing and very sad. Even now I find it hard to think about the final scene and not get emotional.

I have no intention of spending time here discussing the series or the world it portrays. A simple Google search provides all the information anyone could want, or need, about the manosphere, red, blue and black pills etc. 

What I do want to say is that as we all know the world portrayed in the series is real and we can’t ignore it. It is toxic and it is destroying our children. 

It is pointless wringing our hands and asking ourselves how we have let this happen to our children unless we try to find a way to help them navigate their online worlds.

So what do we do?

Well it is my belief that we don’t go straight into adult mode and try to ‘fix’ the problem, in this case ‘fix’ the kids. You see I am not sure that the ‘kids’ trust us right now. I think sufficiently large numbers are finding their truth elsewhere, so sitting them down and having a chat, providing a school programme, giving a lecture etc. is likely to fall deaf ears for many, unless we work on ensuring that the divide of trust, that I fear currently exists, is narrowed, unless we stop talking and acting like we have the answers and start listening.

 Meaningfully, deeply, without judgement and quietly, we start listening. Maybe then we can start building the trust and confidence in us again.

Easy to say eh but how?

Warning here, there is going to be a bit of a sales pitch soon.

I do believe that we need to provide a space where we can listen and it is safe for a young person to talk. I also believe that initially this space has to be a depersonalized one. I question whether a full on personalized discussion between a caring adult and a young adult is the most effective way of initially  bridging the divide. It is the ‘end goal’ for sure but maybe not always the starting point. 

Maybe we need to create a depersonalized space focused on narratives about the issue where the focus can be on talking and listening about the issue rather than the individual. 

Let's give our young people credit to be able to discuss the issue before we launch into their place within the issue.

How?

Obviously the series itself is a good place to start [as many have and why it is being made freely available to schools in the UK]. But there can also be lighter initial approaches. Earlier last year Becca and I were sufficiently worried about the issues raised in ‘Adolescence’ and other issues facing young adults that we developed a series of narratives around them [social media/influencers/ AI, bullying etc.] and developed a series of activities that encourages debate and critical thinking around the specific issue. Focussing on a fictional [and not too heavy] narrative that led to very real activities for students to work through. 

I am not saying for a moment that these are the answer, but resources like these [either obtained or developed by teachers] that allow for the creation of an initially depersonalized space to initiate discussion may be a good place to start addressing the issues and starting to rebuild trust in a way that respects our children and gives them permission to express themselves while demanding that we listen.

Anyway, for what it is worth, the link is below.

Anyway for what it is worth the new Valerie June songs are wonderful.

Anyway for what it is worth, Marlon Williams, the power of sitting still, absorbing and just listening.

https://www.engaginglearningvoices.com/shop